The anxiety came of its own free will
Catching her off guard
Not just when she was
Thinking about him
But when she was not
When she saw a boy run into the arms of his mother
Or a young man looking
Into the eyes of a lover
It made her catch her breath

The anxiety clung to her
Until she couldn’t swallow
At the wedding of a friend’s son
At the birth of her grandson
She saw his face
In all the places
That touched her heart
It robbed the moments of her pleasures
Reminding her

He had chosen a path
From which he could not
Retrace his steps
All these years later
She was haunted by failure
Always the anxiety
Brought the same message:
Forgive him
Forgive yourself, and
Put it away

She bought a leather box
Black, sleek and shiny
And put it on the dresser
In her bedroom
Opening it slowly
She let the tears
Of fear and grief
Spill over the velvet lining
Tears she had reluctantly
Learned to treasure
Then silently, tacitly,
She closed the box

Her hand lingered
On the smooth surface
For a long moment
She wavered, yet
She had made up her mind
With the sadness at bay
She walked away
Leaving the pain behind

Written by Barbara Roland – Aventura, Florida

—

Submit your original work to 45 Magazine for a chance to get published.

Click HERE to Submit!