And Satan said on to God “Let us play a game of tug of war, but with a twist.”

Understanding the duelist, God said “But of course. What are the terms and conditions?”

Satan responds “My admonition is the power of free souls. Original clean souls burn the brightest.”

Delighted God responds “Clean souls are also the hardest to control, are you bold enough to wrestle them from the body and myself?”

Satan jeers “You gave them so much wealth, and us so little. What favor will grant me to even the scales?”

God curtails “Some souls regard us as fairytales so you, Satan will stand at one end and I on the other. Man will stand in the middle tugging towards his desire.”

Satan fires “Where is the sport in all that?”

God answers back ” You will tug with all your might at their souls, but I will use my pinky to draw them closer to me. We will see where they land when their bodies surrender free will.”

Satan beggs “Which soul is the number one contender, pretender of the good life?”

God delights “You see my friend over there? He is the one most similar to my Son- blessed and highly favored. Try to taper him; draw your rope.”

Satan Snickers “I hope your faith is as strong as his conviction; my vipers are already on him. Their souls are as dark as night, therefore they do not burn; they only smolder.”

Colder the man cried out “Why do they hate me? I see the end of my suffering similar to Sisyphus, but people keep kicking the boulder back. Who should I contact before my back cracks?”

Satan Attacks the rope “This is not a Goddamn joke God I will drag him, jack him, and molest his family members!”

God was silent, but drew is pinky closer to his heart.

“Who fights for me? I can barely push a pound and yet this boulder weights a ton. I sweat but I can not run. God give me strength.” He lit a blunt.

Satan cheered “Look at him. He runs to drugs and not you. Bid his soul adieu.”

God smiles knowing ignorance and arrogance are two of Satan’s favorite traits. “Wait.”

“I smoke to blunt the pain of the world, it is too much to carry. I can not terry like the mighty Atlas. I may shrug and let my people down.”

God smiled and tugged harder. The man would never forsake God nor his people. The man just did not feel equal.

Deceitfully Satan whispered “God does not love you equally, give in peacefully to the world and it is yours.”

The man yelled back “This is not your world to give, but it is ours to suffer in.”

Satan snapped at the rope “Shut your mouth and surrender. Your faith is tied to a pretender. My storm you can not take flight from. Bondage is all you know. Accept this,” He hissed.

God leaned down and kissed the man’s forehead as it bled. “Take comfort and draw your sword.” God tugged harder, but only because the man tugged harder. With the rope fully tightened the man drew his God Sword given to him at birth and sliced what he thought was a boulder. It was a rope- a chain. And it was broken.

Satan shrieked “You cheated God! You gave him a sword to cut my chain!”

God laughed “You named the game and I named the conditions. The sword was given to him at birth.”

Written by Adeshina Lawal aka Roman Pierce – Atlanta, Georgia, United States

Feature Photo by Rakicevic Nenad

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You Can’t Make This Sh*t Up Journal

A Record of Incredible Shenanigans

That I May or May Not Have Engaged in and/or Witnessed

 

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