Companies need to think about why they chose to invest in hiring a writer in the first place. In this age of digital rhetoric where communication is spewing all willy-nilly, you’re probably spending more time trying to catch that information while paying someone else to rewrite it in a way that applies to your specific brand—and basically, just feeding the bottomless pit that is the internet.

There’s no denying the power of the internet. There is money to be made if you’re using it correctly. The problem is that just as many businesses that are out there getting it right, there are just as many getting it all wrong, and a lot of that has to do with not valuing (and worshipping) the true gems on their payroll—that’s right, the mother***g copywriters!

You may have the million-dollar idea, but if you put it out there in broken English, you’ll get dismissed as if you’re foreign princess who needs your social security number to deposit some cash into your account.

You Underestimate the Power of The Force

Behold, the ghostwriters, a.k.a. the copywriters.

These are the droids you’re looking for!

A good copywriter is like a bad boyfriend—or girlfriend. We can manipulate words to suit our needs.

We have the power to write about the same subject, product, or business multiple times in a 30-day period to deliver the same message with an entirely different angle. We have the power to take that content and enhance it to build other forms of public relations material. We have the abracadabra power to make something sound forward or passive aggressive. We have the talent and skills to “Olivia Pope” whatever your heart desires. (Clearly, this was drafted before Scandal went off the air, but I like the analogy so, yeah.)

Do You Suck?

A copywriter will weave together words that will appear as if you don’t.

Does a product you’re trying to sell suck, but you know people have bought worse?

A copywriter will spin it as if your product was manufactured with golden thread.

What about a client? You have a client who sucks, but landing an account with them will put your kids through college or finally get you that sailboat you’ve been salivating over.

Have your incredibly talented copywriter draft up a complimentary press release or revamp their bio that over embellishes all of their accomplishments and highlights the things they like to mention about themselves. Publish it SEO-style and boom! Hoist the sails, mate!

Copywriters. We’re Good, but We’re Not You!

In all seriousness, while a good copywriter has the talent to write about many subjects in different industries, we’re never—ever going to write about your business as good as you, the professional. While we’re professionals of writing from different angles and perspectives, we’ll never be able to bring that special insight that makes, you you! Of course, if you’re working with a company long enough, you’ll be able to capture the vision and the voice of the company, but that’s something that happens over a period of months if you’re lucky but on average, years.

Think about it, you probably went to school to become the expert that you’ve become or at least invested a healthy amount of years doing what you do. So, to hire a writer and expect him or her to instantly spew out rhetoric that is at your level—even with a reasonable amount of research, is a laughable expectation. Think about how much time, energy, and effort it took you to become an expert. Yes, of course, you’re paying the ghostwriter to write like you, because that’s what ghostwriter’s do—yeah, yeah. You’re exactly right. That IS what we do!

A seasoned copywriter is like a walking cliff note of everything and nothing! As writers, we have to hustle! We’re probably juggling no more than 2-3 different subject matters and/or industries in our head. Chances are you’re not the only client your copywriter is writing for! I know this is a shock. I’ll give you a moment to recover.

Truly Acknowledging Realistic Expectations

If copywriters had the skillset to write at the level of your expertise as if we spent the years in college and the sweat equity to write with the identical uniqueness and quirky way that you compose a message then:

1. You should be worried that you’re not as unique and special as you thought, because a copywriter is coming for your job.
2. Why would we be writing for you? We’d just do what you do!
3. There is a matrix where copywriters can instantly download an occupation into our heads and say what you say better than you ever could.
4. You wasted your time in school. You should’ve been a copywriter.
5. 1 and 4 basically said the same thing.

So Why Do You Need a Ghostwriter Again?

Because you’re too much in a hurry to say what you need to say and if you did, you’d probably say too much, because you’re an expert and no one would understand you anyway.

Note about the previous sentence: Run-on sentences are often necessary to prevent the anticipated rebuttal in your head. And rules are made to be broken  (See what I did there, starting the sentence with an “and”?) When you’re a good copywriter, you can get away with that from time to time—kind of like turning on a red light when the sign clearly says you shouldn’t but you didn’t see it because you stopped passed the sign.

Note about the previous paragraph: Thoughtless rambling is sometimes entertaining.

Copywriters Matter!

Copywriters. Ghostwriters. We can do it all, but not quite like you. However, we can certainly serve as the mediator between you and your audience, saving them from side-rants like the one you just had to endure. We have the skills and expertise to cut through the crap and spoon-feed your readers exactly what they need to know in order for them to convert—whether it’s purchasing a product, signing up for your mailing list, or completing a contact form to inquire more about your services. We can trim the fat and present content that your target audience will want to engage in. Ghostwriters matter, b****!