It was wrong.
I was wrong to think it’d be okay.
Yet something called me to you;
The innocence of your eyes, not yet linked with hardship, brought simplicity. Brought a blurring benevolence.
A warm smile, an uncertain voice, an awkward stance, and care that drives deep, along with a sense of soul unparalleled, energy that rivaled the sun.
But it was never right.
It was a decision I never should’ve made.
History is set in stone, and even with its written text being read in so many ways, I can only interpret it in one. The way I believe is true.
The way which makes me wrong.
Which makes me abominable.
My intentions were pure, sure, yet that does not excuse what might’ve come of it.
Disaster could have followed.
It needed to end where it did.
But it’s not really over, is it?
Like a fool, I thought I moved.
Yet I read the sign which lay unchanged, the ground which holds as rough, the cold view still the same, but the clouds cleared for a moment.
Tricked by the eye.
The storm, unlike you, has returned.
The rain is pouring once again.
Because you, my sun, are too far out of reach.
I flew too close.
I shouldn’t have ever even made the attempt.
My heart and brain continue to in conflict.
A mix of desire and a sense of self-awareness leading to nothing but loathing, begging, misplaced anger, lies in order for me to sleep better, sorrow as unparalleled as your light. The brain knows the heart is yearning for something that is morally unjust, but the heart pains in absence:
no faith,
no wishes,
no hope,
no you.
But it wasn’t right.
But it felt so right.

Written by: Nicolei Luck – Miami, Florida